Here's a little story from my life that happened recently. I had an incident where I lost my temper at someone at work who was goading me. Losing my temper is a rare thing for me. And when I was discussing it with a friend they asked me if it had felt good at the time. And I had not felt anything like that. And then they told me my moral values were too strict...
And it got me thinking that yes there are some moral values that we need to agree on as a society, eg crimes and things that can really hurt others. But when it comes to the more subtle ones, that affect only us for the most part, I've always felt that that is something we need to decide for ourselves. To me, its about who and what you want to be in the world. And no one can tell you what your personal values should be.
All this got me thinking about the moral values that we do choose for ourselves, the ones about if you don't have to feel badly for hurting someone if they hurt you first (or if it is still wrong), the ones that dictate who we are inside and how we react to others around us in subtle ways
So I thought I would stop and ask Tarot a couple of questions on that this month, since it is on my mind. I will be using the Victorian Romantic Tarot here, by Alex Ukolov and Karen Mahony. .....as you can see, a very beautiful deck.
1) What is it important to know when deciding on our personal moral values as they relate to who we are and how we choose to feel and react to others?
Card 1: 2 of Cups
Well this looks like a good place to start this answer. The 2 of Cups is about the feelings between two people. It's about the interaction between two people and in fact the 2 of Cups is the love card of the deck and it about love itself.
What this says in relation to the question is that, well, we don't live in a vacuum. What we do affects the others around us. The values we choose will have an effect in the world around us and in the lives of the people around us. So in effect, it's more than who we want to be as individuals, it's about who we want to be in the relationships in our lives and in our daily interactions with others,. It's more than about the kind of person we want to be inside. It's also about who we are on the :the ":outside":, who we are to the people and the world outside of ourselves.
And as the image shows it's about how the way we choose to be touches others and how that will lead them to touch us. And the latter is a consideration too. As some ways of being will touch people in one way and inspire them to act in one way towards us, and other ways of being in the world will touch people in different ways and cause them to treat us in different ways. So this advice of this card is about looking at the big picture
And all the beautiful natural greenery in the image says, for one, that it is about following what feels and is natural to you. And also what will help things grow in your life in the way that you want then to. And yes since this is the love card, it's about what leads to happiness and optimism in you and in others around you, rather than the reverse.
Card 2: Ace of Pentacles (reversed)
The Pentacles, for me. are about our goals. And about how to best achieve those goals. Its about your goals of who you want to be in this world and how to best be that person. And a reversed Ace is about fairness, equality, being impartial. taking all the aspects of the situation into consideration, and yes your morals and ethics as well.
All this says that it is about thinking what is fair to all concerned. Empathy, and imagining how you would feel in their position and how you would want to be treated if you were. it's about thinking about how this all effects who you want to be and how you want to be that in the world around you.
This image,to me, says right now that it is about creating values for yourself that you feel proud of and can openly share with the world. Values that come from the heart of you and that you are so sure represent you as you want to be in the world so that there is nothing to hide.
Its about rising above what holds you back and feeling free to be the you you are meant to be in this world. I am getting here that if you set strong goals that come from a strong sense of who you actually are inside, who you want to be, then your life will work with you to create what you want in the best way, even sometimes by sending things you had not expected or planned on.
2) What is it important to know about the role our personal values play in our lives and how they affect what we do and are in the world around us?
Card 1: Page of Swords (reversed)
This is a card from the suit of Swords, and Swords are about our thoughts and our way of thinking. A reversed Page, for me, is about something new happening to us that we have little or no experience with.
So the first part of this answer is that one important thing is that our values affect how we react to new ways of thinking we come face to face with. And what we do with coming face to face with a new way of thinking about something can have a big effect on our lives.
What do we do when faced with someone who views a situation in a totally different way from us? Who thinks very differently to us? Are we open to it, or do we refuse to seriously consider points of view that differ greatly from our own?
The way we react to this can change our lives in one way or another. How open we are to trying to understand the other's viewpoint and to see it from their eyes can make a real difference on our lives as well as in theirs.. if we try we may learn something that could change or improve our lives. If we are so sure that our way is the only way that makes sense to us and don't try to see things through the other's point of view,, we could lose the chance to learn something that may benefit us. How good a listener we are and what the role of listening is, are parts of the values we decide on. Listening can be not just about hearing the words, but about trying to really understand and see clearly what the other is saying.
This is another card from the suit of Pentacles, which is about our goals and how to achieve them. A reversed Knight, the way I read, is about the best possible experience of a situation possible, things working out for the absolute best,. the best imaginable outcome.
This card is saying that it is our personal values that help us to achieve our goals in the best possible way for us. And, in fact, it is our values that tell us what the best way for us to achieve our goals actually is. For example we may have a value that tells us that it is very worthwhile to work hard and be patient when working on your goals and that the results will be all the more gratifying for it. OR we may want and value instant results. And that could lead you to not put in a much work in the long-term and not reach the same heights.
To me, this is an image of a knight in shining armor and a bride. So this hints that that our values affect our romantic relationships, and how permanent they are. Whether people prefer one night stands or deep long term relationships and why,. also stems from the values they choose for themselves. And even the very nature of what romantic relationships mean to you....stems from values you decided from in many ways. As well as the level of respect you give to your partner (or unfortunately in some cases choose not to give).
Card 3: 10 of Wands
This is a Wands card, about what we can and do create of our lives.And it is a 10, about creating the most that we can with and from our lives.
To me, this image looks like one of hardship.. There is this woman carrying a heavy load walking on rocky hard ground and looking none to happy about it. ....more heavy loads on her back, like she just feels like life is against her and wishes it would get off her back and leave her alone.
This is NOT truth, but just a "value" or life belief that she has chosen for herself. We have the choice in life what values we choose in this area, and how we choose to view these things. There are values we each personally choose for ourselves.
WE have that choice, We can choose to believe that life is against us and we are carrying a heavy load and things will always be hard because that is how things are. OR we can choose to believe that life is working with us, that it is always on our side and that things only happen that are ultimately in our best interests. And look forward to each day in joy. In my experience, either becomes somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophesy., Whatever we believe life to be, either way of anything in between, we will see examples in our lives to validate any viewpoint we choose. Our beliefs Things are funny that way, but whatever we believe we look for. And when we look for examples any one things and focus on that, we find them (and ignore examples to the contrary that do not fit into our currently held beliefs and views).
How we view life, what we expect it to be, and how we expect it to treat us are values we each personally choose. But you can imagine which way of viewing things is most likely to let you achieve your heights and deepest goals, the most that you can, and to be the most that you can be. If you chose to believe that life is working beside you to help you achieve what you most want to (and if you do you will see examples of this if you look) you may well be likely to try a lot harder and be less likely to give up then if you choose to tell yourself that life is against you. And that will allow you to reach greater heights in your life.